lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
