she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
