3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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