: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
