they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
