Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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