God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
