great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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