look no pants
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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