I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
