dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
