Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
