i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
