But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
