so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize