she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
