Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
