is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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