we have officially lost it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
