Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
