my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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