Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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