shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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