sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
