wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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