Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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