She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
