she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize