Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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