God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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