well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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