I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
