They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
