she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
