I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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