i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
