Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
