In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
