There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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