He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
