I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
