that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize