Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
