Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
