I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
