North Korea, Best Korea!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
