We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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