the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
