YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
