I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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