i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
