Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
