Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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