Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My ATM looks so different sober.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
