I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
