I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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