At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
