please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
