i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
