I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
