The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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