This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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